Hello from the other side.
Its been 19 days.
Time has both been standing still and zooming forward. I have a million things to do and to think about during the worst time in my family's life. I'm both worried about my children and their limited life experience in dealing with the tragedy of losing a parent in the midst of a worsening pandemic, and myself in my limited ability to cope with grief and overwhelm while keeping my life together.
I have hours of forward movement where I feel capable and strong, no crying. They are followed by hours of flashbacks and debilitating sadness.
What I want to do is crawl onto the couch and stare at a wall, but what I am in fact doing is learning to drive the truck, trying to tie up some financial affairs, plan a memorial, and get ready to return to work.
Its like swimming in mud. With boots on.
If you are reading this, please send me a prayer or two.
Gina
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