Thank God I work outside of the home. We totally need my job with all of it's benefits, and though changes are happening at work, it's still where I feel valuable. And where I can put my education to excellent use Not here:
No offense intended to those who love to care of their families during the day by cleaning and pretty-ing up their homes. I was once one of those people. I really loved the feeling of accomplishment when I was done making everything clean and good-smelling and fresh for them when they got home. Never mind that it would look exactly like this every morning. Like I had spent the previous day playing tiddly winks. I enjoyed the organization, the purposeful goals. And making my own schedule out during the day.
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| Still haven't broken the cycle... |
I guess now that my kids are older, and a couple of them have moved on and out, I feel like there should be more to my days. Until I figure out what that looks like, I need to work extra hours. Even being out of your house for a few hours a day makes it seems like a wonderful place. Not a place of drudge and mindless boredom. Which is what I feel. And I'm not ungrateful for my home, I just need a break from it. But just to stay mindful of all that I have and all I've been given, here is my nightly prayer:
Thank you God, for giving me this day - right where I am.
Trying to stay mindful and grateful, even in the midst of boredom. That's my goal.
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