The Ruler of Death

See that back there?  Over behind the phone next to my cookbooks?

The Ruler of Death.

  Actually 4 of them.  You can never find a ruler when you need one, but here we have four.  These rulers used to have a special purpose.  Each makes a very loud sound as it is slapped against the counter when I am making the tail end of a threat or trying to get someone's immediate attention.

Back in the day, the slappy sound of a ruler perked up people's ears!

I don't think I've ever smacked anyone's behind with one of these, but by the time I pick one up they know I could...see, I do not spank my kids.  To me, it represents lazy parenting, and I hated it myself as a child not only because it hurt me to be spanked, but  also because it meant my parents weren't interested in working hard enough to teach me, not hurt me.  And they continued it long after it became too late in the game; I was old enough to have other consequences.  Of course, I've had to swat a leg or two in my time, to get their attention when the Ruler wasn't handy.  But my peeps are getting big, and  they've been pretty good kids who behave themselves.

So, nowadays, we use the rulers to measure things....
Imagine that.