Friday, April 23, 2010

Telling it like it is...

My 80 year old mother says she's too old to change.  I think that's a lot of bunk.  My mother is a smart, creative, deep thinker with the capacity to learn new ways.
Today we had a discussion about speaking your mind.  In her opinion, you should be able to say how you feel -at all times and regardless of your audience.   While I agree in theory that you must say how you feel, I also think there is a time and place and way to do that; diplomacy should rule the day.  You can be authentic, and genuine, and sincere about your feelings.  But the rest of us don't have to accept insults.  Stating your opinion without taking into account your audience is just plain old bad manners.  And eventually, people will avoid you.
That can be a lonely situation.

She doesn't agree with me, but I figured she wouldn't.  I'm only trying to explain to her why people would react to her they way they do.  I love my mother and I think we are a lot alike. But I can see how others might not be as forgiving.  Her solution is to be a hermit, and never say how she really feels again -which means she won't say anything.  But I don't think that's the answer.  And I don't believe that you're ever too old to learn to express a sincere apology. 
You can start anew.  
You can learn from your mistakes.
I've learned a lot from my mother.  I will keep an open mind and try to see the error of my ways, too.

p.s.  May 2015 - I really think my mother falls somewhere on the autism spectrum.  Will her knowing that help her at the ripe old age of 85?  Probably not.  But it answers a lot for me.


Sarah @ Sugar Bananas! said...

What a beautiful post - and picture of you with your mom. You're very right about offering forgiveness. One day, I'll write a book all about what happened to me. Forgiveness set me free :)

Sarah @ Sugar Bananas! said...

Oh, and the new blog background is very nice!

Marie said...

So true Gina...It is never too late to start anew...Being so bold and forward can hurt feelings and you are right, there are gentle ways to share...<3


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