Friday, December 19, 2014

Do what you don't know you can't...

Well, here we are.  
8 1/2 weeks post op for knee surgery.  And I still have the occasional panic attack about stepping up or down a stair step.  
For. No. Logical. Reason.
Hours after my surgery, with crutches that I barely knew how to use correctly, I managed to climb the steps leading to my front door and step over the doorway.   Days after surgery I climbed into our new baby trailer and back down again.  A couple of weeks after surgery I managed to navigate the step outside of our patio so I could cut my hubby's hair.  So why now, after two months do I have these panic attacks that paralyze me and cause me to make a scene?
I was walking very short distances in my house with one crutch.  I was carrying my cup of coffee to my desk by myself.  Getting a shower by myself.  But somewhere along the line I got it into my head that I couldn't do those things.  Someone told me to exercise caution.  That set off a chain reaction.  The mind is a powerful thing.  I became my own Helicopter Parent in my head, hovering and telling myself to be careful.  
And it has backfired against me. 
So now I have a new mantra - something I clearly need to practice more.  It takes a short time to develop a bad habit, but a long time to un-do it.  My new daily rule for myself is:  "If you've already done it once, you can do it again.  And try it at least once!"
Wish me luck.  I want tomorrow to be all about watching my beautiful girl graduate from Baylor.  Not how her mom had a hard time coping with her knee recovery.

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1 comment:

Gilli Wrightson said...

Hi Gina just found your log free you contacted me. Just read this blog about your knee surgery. I'm sorry you're having problems. I had my operation in May and recovered quickly, thank goodness . Have you checked with your surgeon about your fear maybe there is something wrong. I am cautious I think everyone who has th op is but after 8 1/2 weeks you should be really up and at 'me so to speak. Cheers Gilli


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